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Pretty cool how the internet lets you stay connected with people you haven`t seen in years and silently judge them on a daily basis.
I always get a nice safe feeling whenever I see a police car and I realize I`m not driving around with a trunkful of cocaine.
Mythbusters is basically my childhood with a much larger explosives budget.
Had a nice, relaxing weekend. I now have ample energy to hate Monday and most of Tuesday.
It`s bad luck to be superstitious.
I ran into my ex the other day. I could have sworn the light was green.
Let`s drink till this day makes some sort of sense.
Don`t be sad, laundry. Nobody is doing me either.
Some people are just pure evil...I should know because I`m one of them.
Sometimes, I think I`m a genius. Then I realize I`ve already seen this episode of Jeopardy.
Those 5 donuts I ate are really going to give me an extra boost during my workout today.
Since everything is closed for Thanksgiving Iām going to drive around and park in all the good spots I never get.
You`re beautiful until your Photoshop 30 day trial has gone.
My whole life is based on a true story...