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Organized people are just too lazy to look for things!
Reasons to get out of bed: Food.
If people are what they eat, some people must eat a lot of stupid.
You don`t see faith healers working in hospitals, just like you don`t see psychics winning the lottery every week.
I love the way everyone who uses hand sanitizer looks like they`re hatching some kind of evil plan.
I went to Alcoholics Anonymous last week. The first thing they told me to do was to stop hanging around other alcoholics. So I stopped going.
Per Wikipedia, there are two kinds of scorpions. One can sting and kill you like a spider, the other can sing and rock you like a hurricane
Well, THAT Jehovah`s Witness isn`t going to forget anytime soon what they witnessed when I answered the door.
I never wanted to grow up, I just wanted to be tall enough to reach the cookies.
People would probably piss me off a lot less if I was allowed to drive a tank.
Dogs are God`s way of apologizing for your relatives.
Studies show that people who want tribal tattoos are directly related to living under a rock
Apparently, saying “Wow, you’ve grown since I last saw you” isn’t deemed socially acceptable when said to adults.
everyone has that one crazy person in there family...but in my case everyone is just as crazy as i am!XD
I can`t wait til the Presidential race ends so we can stop hating people for their politics and go back to hating people because they`re jerks