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I usually don`t argue with the doctor but I don`t think "Batshit Crazy" is a legitimate medical term.
Men use love to get sex...women use sex to get love...I use coupons to get pizza!
4 out of 5 dentists agree that 1 out of 5 dentists is just doing it for the attention.
If cats had wings, they would still just lay there.
I did not say you are stupid, I just said that you have bad luck when you`re thinking.
I hope to get to the point in my life where I`m not excited about finding change on the ground.
You know you had a good night when you have to Google map yourself in the morning to find out where the hell you are.
Never hire a color blind Bomb Technician.
My laptop has a Miley Virus. It`s stopped twerking.
The only trouble with resisting temptation is that you may not get another chance...
Keep reaching for the stars but please get a better deodorant.
My new girlfiend is taking forever to exist.
I wish I had money so I could be eccentric instead of just weird.
Volleyball is just a more intense game of "Don`t let the balloon touch the floor"
Ain`t no sandwich when she`s gone.