Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You never realize how boring your life is until someone asks what you like to do for fun.
Million dollar idea: Duck Dynasty chia pets.
I have thought a lot about it and I am thrilled to announce that I have decided to never die.
Doctor says I`m morbidly a beast. Thanks doc.
You guys know that there are things higher than kites, right?
In my defense, your honor, he had the keyboard clicking sound on his phone turned on
If Trump wins I`m leaving the country. If Hillary wins I`m leaving the country. This is not a political post, I just want to go on vacation.
If you can read this please let me know – because it means I blocked the wrong person.
I used to make fun of my dog for barking at dogs on TV until I caught myself in the car pulling over for a siren on the radio.
Kids are like debit cards. I get yelled at when I accidentally leave them at the store.
I answered the door in my underwear. That WAS the tip, pizza guy!
Just because someone`s richer or more famous or talented doesn`t mean they`re happy. It just means they`re happier than YOU.
This is the only comment you should be leaving on porn sites: “Why are you doing this? Please come home. Your mother and I are heartbroken.”
Spoiler alert: Your `97 Nissan Sentra doesn`t need one.
My car broke down outside Pizza Hut last night. So I ordered a pizza to be delivered to my house and got a lift from the driver.