Daily Silly Status

I wish the "Do not ask me again" option existed in real life.

Science is just a numbery way to explain magic.

My wife started clipping coupons to help save money. She keeps them in the side pocket of her $800 purse.

I just realized there are more toes in the world than people

HardCoreStrategy 22 hours ago 6 3? Guys are? in a cafe. The first guy says "I?? have the smallest arm in the? world." The second guy says I have the?? smallest head in? the world." The third guy says I have the smallest d^ck in the world. They all? go to? the Guinness Book of World records. The? first? guy comes back and says I really? have the smallest arm in the world. The seconds guy? returns and? says? I have the smallest head in the world. The third guy comes back? and angrily?? says WHO? T

To whoever finds the $20 I dropped last night: spend it on alcohol. It`s what I would have wanted.

Apparently this Walmart cashier only brushes her favorite teeth.

It would take a pretty stupid robot to replace me.

Every day can be palm Sunday if you`re a single guy

I`m happy that my grandma thinks that a iPad is for wet and leaking eyes

Sorry, I was not paying attention. I was thinking about having sex with you.

Bring a hedgehog into the library and frantically ask the clerks where they keep the reverse spell casting books.

What`s the point of blurring out the middle finger on TV, like oh you`ve fooled me, what`s behind that blur? Is it a monkey? A pencil?

Im thinking, The best part about sitting down at the computer for a minute and making a status message like this is that by the time you`ve finished reading it and taking a minute out of your day you`ll have a brand sense of enlightenment and awareness that you never had before once you realize that there is absolutely no point to this post whatsoever.

I wish the guy made of money in the Gieco commercial would ride his motorcycle through my town.