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If Shrek can find love, so can you. What I`m trying to say is, you look like Shrek
I bet spongebob will get his license before Taylor Swift finds love.
My mind says diet, but my stomach is all SHUT UP BITCH.
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year, and then discover once a year is way too often.
I won the Twister contest hands-down.
To stupidity ... And beyond!!
I`m a little stumped by this beer to pee volume ratio.
I`m eating a vegan lunch today. Sure, it`s six sleeves of Smarties and a Diet Coke, but I`m still better than you.
It`s depressing to think how much more Dora the Explorer has seen and done in her life compared to mine.
The world would be a better place if we all got along like the "Price is Right" audience.
Bacon has protein. Spinach has protein. Bacon is a vegetable.
That horrible moment when the TV commercials are so long that you forget what you’re watching…
I was voted `Most Paranoid` by my classmates at school. Although they never admitted it.
Just saw two homeless guys hitting each other with a piece of cardboard................PILLOW FIGHT!!!!!!
Im switching some friends from my Facebook account to my Fakebook account.