Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
From this point on, all postings of pictures of waffles will be considered a personal invitation.
Iām the kind of guy who dreams about naps while Iām asleep.
Of course it`s you. If it was me I wouldn`t even bring it up.
It only takes a second to show someone how you really feel about them... the cops call it indecent exposure, but whatever
The block button is just the adult version of sticking your fingers in your ears and repeating "I can`t hear you" over and over
After visiting the gov`t healthcare site, I don`t know why I was so worried about their ability to spy on me...
OMG! A CUSTOMER ALMOST DIED IN FRONT OF ME TODAY!! But then I counted to 10 and put the scissors back in the drawer. She never even knew.
So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere.
I hate it when Iām singing along to a song, and the artist gets it wrong.
No, I don`t have tourette syndrome..I was just telling you what I think of you.
I dont need to control my anger everyone around me needs to control their habit of pissing me off!
A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!
I lost 3 pounds over the weekend, but not to worry I found them lastnight at pizza hut
The best way to hang up on someone is to do it in the middle of your own sentence, that way they will just think you lost service.
Bragging about how much you receive in alimony only demonstrates how much someone was willing to pay to get rid of you.