Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
No one is more confident than a drunk girl wearing a guy’s hat sideways.
Worries about the economy grow again after the world`s biggest yacht-selling company announce a drop in sails
The boss keeps talking about a company 401k ... I don`t think I can run that far
“A body at rest tends to stay at rest” should be an acceptable excuse for missing work.
Can someone else be a sex symbol today? ... My good T-shirt is still in the wash...
People say that marriage is a job...marriage is not a job, its a hobbie!! Dating while you`re married...that`s a job!!
This pizza looks like a pie chart of 100% good news.
My wife is a perfectionist but she made an exception in my case.
I used to be in a band called "missing cat". You`ve probably seen our poster.
I’ve been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I’m actually talking to someone.
I try not to work that much. That way I make less mistakes.
A woman saying "I`m not mad at you" is like a dentist saying "You won`t feel a thing."
It’s not weird to talk to yourself, it’s just weird when someone else hears you talking to yourself.
We can land a rover on an asteroid, but they can`t make a can of shaving cream that doesn`t spill 1/10th of it`s contents after every use.
Being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible