Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How the hell do you call Batman during the day?
Last night I saw a documentary about beavers. Best dam show I ever watched.
Hi, it’s me. I can’t get to the phone right now, even though it’s right here in my hand.
Does eating a gas station hot dog counts as a suicide attempt.
Judging from all the misery and carnage on my newsfeed, I`m assuming it`s Monday.
Was disappointed when I watched the films Shaft, XXX, X-Men, In To Deep, Snatch, The Box, Free Willy. None of them were what I expected...
If I gave you a penny for your thoughts I`d totally be expecting some change back.
Tattoos are an expensive and a painful way to guarantee that the police can make a positive identification
It`s weird to think that these Forever Stamps will outlive me.
I miss being in a relationship. Could 1 of you girls come over here and yell at me, treat me like shi t and not sleep with me? It might help.
Dear family, thank you for all those wonderful childhood memories ... Here`s my therapy bill.
My grocery cart right now says ” I’m getting drunk and doing laundry tonight!” And also. “I like fruit.”
Studies show than men who have sex more often tend to have a longer life expectancy. See, it`s a survival thing.
Follow your dreams. Unless it’s a person ... apparently they call that stalking.
Saw a chameleon today, so I`m assuming it wasn`t a very good one.