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umm umm u know that school where i got the degree from
You know vacation should be over when all you do is sit around naked, drinking fruity malt liquor beverages
Did you ever notice that the doctor’s bill is always a lot more readable than the doctor’s prescription?
How do blind people know when to stop wiping their asses
I log off because I`m bord... I log on 5min later because I`m bord
My boss called me lazy and said I had poor communication skills... I almost responded
Where have you been all my life? ... Please go back there.
I`m leaving my body to science because even scientists need a good laugh now and then.
I`m happy, but not "Oprah just told me to look under my chair" happy.
If pi is 3.14, then I think .99 is a good deal for 2 doughnuts.
You may think it`s bad grammar but I assure you it`s just laziness.
Saying a prayer for all the turkeys today. Also the single people with concerned relatives.
Call me old school, but I think your shorts should be longer than your private parts.
A cute thing I tell my kids when we see a dead deer on the side of the road is, "Looks like Santa lost his temper again."
One problem with auto-correct is that you always end up posting some thong you didn`t Nintendo.