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I only say “bless you” twice. If you sneeze a third time I assume you cant be blessed and you’re a demon who must be destroyed.
If you ever Google "Grandfather Clock", be careful how you spell that sh!t.
One man`s girlfriend is another man`s password.
There`s no easy way to tell someone you lost their kid in a high stakes game of duck duck goose.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Saw a boat with a sign that read "For Sale" so I added the missing "-ing"......Idiots can`t spell...
What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
Yeah I`m married, but get one thing straight,,, I do WHAT I want, WHEN I wanhjkjhgfd,, THIS IS SCOTT`S WIFE, HE HAS TO GO NOW, HE SAYS GOODNIGHT.
is clapping his hands and stomping his feet because he is happy and he knows it.
The guy that discovered milk.. What did you tell your friends were you doing to that cow? O_o
I hate that little line of dirt that I can never get into the dust pan.
Idea: maybe the police force for a town of 20,000 shouldn`t have access to weapons you ordinarily need cheat codes to get
I self medicate, therefore you live.
take a left on crazy, keep going until you hit insane. Follow that down to lunatic, turn right on insomnia, way past retarded and there you are @ my place!
American Sniper proves that not even being in an active war zone will prevent your spouse from calling you at work.