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Remember, an easily stolen ADT security sign placed on your lawn is the first line of defense against crime.
I would watch NASCAR if hot wheels designed the tracks.
I knew the fun part of my life was over when my friends started getting pregnant on purpose
I wish I were an octopus so that the answer to all of my problems would be, `change color and escape in a cloud of ink`
"what doesnt kill u makes u smaller" -mario Lol
I take comfort in the fact that my neighbour will probably die before me. I`ll be at his funeral, leafblowing through the entire ceremony.
I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again, if you drive a Nissan but don`t call it Liam then what is even the point of you
I`m so great, I`m jealous of myself.
I just finished writing an article on "How To Improve Your Memory"- But I forgot where I kept it!!
Gluten free. Dairy free. Fat Free. I love the wine diet!
I don’t let my friends do stupid things… ALONE!
If the shoe fits, buy it.
I google myself sometimes just to know what the hell I`m up to. ;)
Having plans sounds great until you realize you have to put on clothes and actually leave the house.
believes saying "hi" with a big smile can brighten anyone´s day ... even those who give you the middle finger for cutting them off in traffic.