Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It only takes a few seconds to show someone how you feel about them......the police call it indecent exposure but whatever.
Why are you showing me pictures of your kid if you have a dog?
I love tan lines... it`s like God came down and high-lighted all the good parts... ;-)
Women are always complaining that men are messy by leaving clothes layin around…..That’s because women take up all the closets
If you`re single and you know it hug your cat!
It may not look like it, but I`m actually very handsome.
I am sorry I had feelings. I`ll replace them with jokes right away.
BEFORE I GET DRUNK, NAKED,THROWN IN JAIL AND LOOSE MY DAMN PHONE. *HAPPY NEW YEAR.
when humans are in love they get butterflys...dose that mean when butterflys are in love they get humans!! :)
"There is a policeman in here and he will ARREST YOU." Things I say to my kids when we`re in public.
I wonder how many couples would still be together if they traded phones for a weekend
I was fired from my job at the sperm bank for saying "get a load of this guy" every time someone walked in
On a scale from 0 to insane I`m batman
The most dangerous piece of machinery a person can operate while drinking is the telephone
Thought I saw a kangaroo today but turned out to be a greyhound having a dump !