Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I never meant to be so cold, I never meant to be so cold. - Mother nature
loves infomercials, but claiming that a product promotes weight loss when combined with diet and exercise is like claiming it grants wishes when used with a leprechaun.
There really should be awards for getting out of bed.
Almost considered doing something with my life, but then I sat down and logged into Facebook.
I watched my first silent movie the other day. The kids weren`t there.
Although the voices aren`t real, they have some pretty good ideas.
I came home from the gym today staggering and sweating after pushing my body to the limit ... And all I did was sign up.
I will give you unconditional love as soon as you meet my list of demands.
lifes a laugh, start living it!
There`s a bald spot in my yard so I`m gonna let the grass grow around it really long and then do a comb over.
A friend came over visibly shaken. He said he had just slept with his 3rd cousin. I told him, if it upsets you that much quit counting them.
Sometimes people come into your life and they need to stop doing that
Sometimes I want to comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don’t wanna have to explain why I’m in your ‘Random Party Pics 08' album at 4am.
“I’m not washing it, I’m just gonna shove it in a pony.” If you’re a girl, that sentence is actually ok.
I just spent a lot of time trying to form a thought when it would`ve been easier to just say, "F*ck it."