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Music is best when it’s louder than I can think.
Who let the owls out?? Don`t sing the chorus you`ll make it worse.
I have never walked toward the exit of a supermarket without nervously wondering if I`ve stolen something.
Just once would I like to see the "Phone a Friend" lifeline on Millionaire go straight to voicemail.
When I was your age, we drank water straight out of the sink.
When I`m not sleepy, I listen to some Chris Brown. That knocks me out right away.
Have you ever looked at someone and realized "WTF" is always what immediately comes to mind?
Acting like a mature adult is super easy if you hate having fun.
I tried jogging this morning, but the alcohol kept spilling out of my glass, f&ck that.
Facebook made billions by saying “Hey, remember that kid you haven’t seen since the third grade? He’s a parent who hates Obama now.”
LOQ "Laugh Out Quietly" because LOL is giving me a headache
Arguing with people in the comments section is like crack for me. I don`t do it.
So people buy cookie dough and bake it?.... What the hell?
You call it camping. I call it getting drunk with insects.
I`m a little Stressed right now ... Just turn around and leave quietly and no one gets hurt.