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They should have cell phone chargers in waiting rooms instead of magazines.
The only dates I get are updates.
My life is just one long improvisation.
Stalking is such a strong word. I perfer the term surveillance expert.
I failed the emergency broadcast test. My apologies to all the employees I shoved to the ground while screaming
I drink because people talk.
I bought my Ex a chair ... But the state won`t let me plug it in.
Of course I plan to seize the day ... Eventually.
I came home from the gym today staggering and sweating after pushing my body to the limit ... And all I did was sign up.
It only takes a second to show someone how you feel. The police call it “Indecent Exposure” but whatever.
How many decades of knowing someone before it`s rude to ask what their name is?
I`m at my most popular when I just want to be alone.
If you don’t like my sense of humor please tell me… so I can laugh at you!
Why don`t they make Neapolitan ice cream but with 3 better flavors?
You care so much about me? Keep that sh*t to yourself i got my demons under control