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Pandas are proof that if you have a cute enough outfit no one will call you fat.
How does one get a nice body without moving?
I hate when people post lyrics from songs, but I will survive.
I try to live every day as though it were my last, and who wants to do laundry on the last day they’re alive?
Christmas is all about getting your entire dysfunctional family under one roof, hoping the cops don`t get called and nobody gets arrested.
Sometimes I just open up the cabinet and let the Tupperware hit me in the face on purpose.
My therapist just offered me my money back.
How do I like my eggs? ... Ummm, in a cake
If there is enough room to spell `bootylicious` on the back of your shorts...it probably isn`t
If you see me laughing like a crazy person, think nothing of it ..it`s just the voices in my head telling me jokes!
I`m thinking about starting a vegetarian dance club... I`m going to call it "lettuce turnip the beets". What do you think?
If God didn`t want us to eat Animals he wouldn`t made them out of meat.
Here`s an idea...Duck Dynasty Chia Pets
This may be the wine talking but help he’s drinking me, he’s drinking me.
What`s the hold up on making extremely heavy shoes for toddlers so they can`t run around so much?