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I wouldn’t have to manage my anger, if people could learn to manage their stupidity.
Snakes are terrifying because they can`t trip and fall over sh!t. No creature should possess such power.
I know this will probably piss off a bunch of people I know, but what makes someone good at fishing?!? Seriously, all you did was wait longer.
has often thought that what doesn’t kill us makes us drink stronger liquor.
Where does Peter Pan have his lunch? At Wendy`s.
I`m pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out a$$.
"Wow, that Hungry Man TV dinner sure lives up to its name!" said no hungry man ever.
If anyone has ever told you that you snore, just know that person has very carefully weighed the pros and cons of letting you live.
Health insurance is rare for exotic dancers. Most strippers have little or no coverage.
Before coffee: Hates everybody. After coffee: Feels good about hating everybody.
I don`t have a police record ... but I think I do have a Sting cd around here somewhere.
Though we made many advancements in society, sadly, pimpin’ STILL isn’t easy.
Happy Halloween… may all of your skeletons stay in the closet where they belong!
Saying "think outside the box" is a pretty inside the box suggestion.
Facebook is like a nude beach. Everybody lets everything hang out, and you really don`t want to see a lot of it...