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"Love is all we need."-Said a wise man 40 years ago. He obviously has never had a computer
I spent an hour at Walmart last night.. I can now totally disprove evolution.. O_o
It`s impossible to look cool while holding onto a leash attached to a dog who is taking a crap.
If I could have sex with anyone, living or dead, I`d probably pick living.
Whenever I lock a car up I always press the button twice in a row to let all nearby thieves know that I mean business.
¦It’s time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.
If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.
Where 5 minutes becomes 5 hours. Facebook.
Guess what I saw today ... Everything I looked at. ;)
Two heads aren`t better than one if you`re both stupid.
Right now my life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-mart.
The key to a woman`s heart is making her laugh...just make sure she`s not laughing at the size of your junk.
"With a stroke of a pen your name can live on forever in a quote!... Unknown,
I`m flattered that you took time out from your lack of a life to judge mine.
When I was a kid I slept with a nightlight... to keep away monsters who were scared of small, low wattage light bulbs.