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Looking for one night stand! Probably need two! I have a lot of books
I hate it when people need constant re-assurance. You know what I mean?
I just took a 5 hour energy and a sleeping pill...LET THE BATTLE BEGIN.
I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday.
Procrastinating is just enjoying all the side quests in life whilst you delay the main quest story mission
Man, those 2013 Mayan Calenders are REALLY hard to find...
Wow, I thought “flash mob” meant something completely different. Can someone come bail me out?
Vodka...deleting memories since...uhh...
I may look calm, but in my head I´ve punched you in the face 3 times already!
I`d engage you in a battle of wits, but I`m afraid you`re unarmed.
Some life lessons are so profound; you only need to do them one time. Putting Icy Hot on my balls, for example …
If you love something,, let it go..... That`s EXACTLY what I`ve done with my body....
Well, if you`re going to question my reputation and credentials as a gynecologist,I suggest you get the hell out of my office van.
They say money doesn`t bring you happiness.... I say....neither does being broke....
Sometimes I get mad about having to unload the dishwasher but then I remember a machine just washed my dishes for me.