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Life is like chocolate...sometimes you gotta deal with nuts.
A man who took an Airline company to court after his luggage went missing has lost his case.
It`s so hard to find obedient minions
Instead of exes, they should be called whys.
Orange Hi-C counts as a serving of fruit, right?
All I want is some ketchup packets placed in the bag, without having to ask!
Being an adult is basically a "choose your own adventure" book, but every choice sounds terrible.
If Tetris has taught me anything it`s that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear.
Say what you want about Captain Hook, but he ran that entire pirating operation singlehandedly.
I honestly have a fear that one day I`ll leave my house and not be wearing any pants!
Do good masochists go to heaven, or hell?
I once bought shoes in China that said "made around the corner"
My kids will be mad at me when they discover it isn’t illegal to talk in the car while I’m driving.
Deja Vu: When God thinks something is so funny he has to rewind it to show it to his friends
Since joining Facebook, about 8 aggressive lampposts have walked up to me in the street and punched me in the face.