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Cauliflower is just broccoli ghosts.
Why is it called "Alien vs Predator"? Isn`t predator an alien too? They should`ve just called it "Some Aliens"
Went to the virgin islands, now they are just the islands.
Do you know what’d look good on you? Me
My Boss requested me on facebook. I was like "pssst". If only he knew all the sh*t I post about his ugly @$$.
I have come to the conclusion that dryer lint is the cremated remains of all my missing socks.
Can we just call it Zealand now? How long has it been? Move on people.
I`m pretty sure God just pointed at me and laughed.
Holiday Tip #236: When hosting a covered dish holiday dinner where everyone brings something, never put a skinny person in charge of desserts.
When everything is coming your way ... You`re in the wrong lane.
When I woke up this morning everything in my house had been stolen and replaced with exact replicas... WEIRD..
Trust me , as you get to know me , i just get weirder.
I knew we would be the best of friends when you said drinks are on you
Why do people at home on TV have their pants on?
Friends are like boobs. Some are real, some are fake