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I think it`s safe to say that my 2 year old is definitely more excited to see the fire truck next door than my neighbor.
Just saw someone holding a sign that said "Honk 2 impeach Obama" You`d think the process to impeach a president would be more complicated
Oh and BTW,,, Why haven`t Pig Pen`s parents been visited by child services yet?
Good job with the heavy sighs, guy behind me, that should definitely help speed up the line.
I’ve thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year’s resolution ... 1024×768.
Old meaning of sorry. "I won`t do it again." New meaning of sorry. "Damn I got caught, next time I need to be more careful."
I won the Twister contest hands-down.
When people ask me if I’m working hard or hardly working, I like to stab them with a pen and ask if they’re hurting hard or hardly hurting.
Dont judge a person by the color of their skin or by the content of their character but by the shape of their eyebrows
You may think it`s bad grammar but I assure you it`s just laziness.
Ever notice that the first 10 seconds of a medical drug commercial is spent telling you what the drug is for and the rest basically daring you to take it?
Over the weekend I pulled a muscle getting off the couch to fetch more Doritos.
I just wanted to send you a quick note letting you know that you`re in my inappropriate thoughts.
It’s too bad that it’s easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
How strange, some guy just waved half of a peace sign at me...