Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Whatever you do in life, always give 100%…unless you’re donating blood…
I`ve come to terms with the fact that I will never experience leftover pizza.
If you think your wife has a great sense of humor, try leaving a trail of rose petals leading to a sink full of dirty dishes. Not the best idea a man ever had ;)
I’m giving up on the silent treatment. ...Going to start talking to myself again.
I can`t believe that it`s almost the year 2014 and I still have to bend down to pick stuff up.
I saw this homeless guy talking to himself and I was like, "Who is he talking to?" then I thought "Who am I talking to?"
I`ll never forget the first time we met. Although, I will keep trying.
Why can`t someone look at me the same way I look at pizza?
Hey mother in law.... Don`t tell me how to raise my kids. Im still trying to raise yours.
Everyone’s beautiful on the inside. Some people just need a few good stab holes to let that beauty out.
Even if gas prices go down, I´m still going to siphon gas from my neighbor´s car because I like the adrenaline rush and he´s an a$$hole
If nothing else, love is nice because it confirms that you do not hate everyone. Just everyone minus one.
You can not force anyone to love you ... The best you can do is stalk them and hope they give in :)
gua suka sama kamu
I bet guys that work at strip clubs are "hard" workers...