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New Rule: If I hold the door open for you and you walk by without thanking me I am guaranteed at least one attempt at trying to trip you.
I`ve polished the mirror in the bathroom so much, you can see your face in it.
It hurts when you goto unfriend someone only to discover they beat you to it
Corduroy pillows?... They`re making headlines!....
"Dancing with the Stars" is being canceled, but tune in to a new reality show by the same creators called, "Athletes do your Taxes."
Some of the best things in life...are mistakes.
Girls here is an idea.. instead of spending that much money on make up just buy your guy a bottle of Jack Daniels.
I think Iām allergic to mornings.
life is too short to think twice and act wise....
The first rule of Women`s fight club is don`t tell anyone what you`re mad about or why you`re fighting.
To be honest with you, I start all my lies with to be honest with you.
Lately, my furnace has run so much I nicknamed it "Forest".
Always envied the kids who showed up to school with their 64 count Crayola crayons. If I wanted Burgundy or Salmon I had to ask in shame.
How long does it take to get obsessed?
It`s time to admit that as a species, we are just not ready for 4-way stops