Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
In my most recent survey,,, four out of five women talked crap about the fifth one whenever she was out of earshot.
If only life was as easy as getting fat.
I`ve had frozen pizza and delivery pizza in the same day, b!tch you don`t know me.
363 shopping days `til Christmas and some people already have their lights up.
"You`re as crazy as your mother" is the last thing I remember saying before waking up in intensive care
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She is nine-seven now, and we don`t know where they hell she is.
Let`s be honest, Dos Equis. After a bunch of ANY beer, what guy DOESN`T think he`s the most interesting man in the world?
The key to a long relationship: Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.
I`m no expert, but I would guess the internet really affected encyclopedia sales.
You know what the trouble about real life is? There`s no danger music.
Bands who can`t afford a smoke machine should hire my girlfriend to cook at their concert
Sharks aren’t so bad. If some stranger entered my house wearing only a Speedo, I would probably attack him too.
A 5 year old asked me what marriage is like. So I gave him a chocolate bar and told him not to eat it.
A Whoopee cushion filled with gravy adds a hilarious new dimension to a rather tiresome practical joke.
Remember....... Its not drinking alone if you`re on Facebook ;)