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"I`d hit that" -old people who drive
If ignorance really was bliss we`d have a lot more really happy people around here.
To me, suicide seems selfish. For all I know, someone else might want to kill me
Adding "just sayin" to a smart-a$$ed comment makes you even more of an a$$hole. Just sayin
My local hairdresser just got arrested for selling drugs. Unbelievable! I`ve been her customer for 10 years and had no clue she was a hairdresser!
The guy below me obviously has never seen R2-D2.
We can`t all be princesses, somebody has to clap as I go by. :P
When I`m in an elevator with a stranger I generally hold their hand to let them know that they`re safe
I used to date a magazine editor. But, I broke up with her because she just had too many issues. No YOU shut up!
I`m so sick and tired of my friends who can`t handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me three time while carrying me to the car.
The self-driving car should have an "I`m Feeling Lucky" button that drives you to a random location.
If I`m guilty of anything it`s loving you too much. Oh and indecent exposure...I suppose trespassing too.
Just ruined $387 worth of blinds in the house, but that fly is dead.
Don`t understand how you can forget about someone you loved so much. Like that time my mum drove off and left me in the supermarket car park
I went frisbee golfing today. I didn`t get an ace, but I did hit a guy and that was just as satisfying.