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Today I think I`ll go to a public restroom and wait until someone leaves, then click your stopwatch and write something down in a notebook.
The olympics is the only time when you hear "Great execution by North Korea" and it seems okay.
My worst fear is seeing one of my statuses marked as "exhibit A"
I do not fail, I succeed at things that do not work.
i feel naked without my mobile !
Soul mates are people with the mutual understanding that no one else will put up with their sh!t.
I feel sorry for historians, they have such a hard time letting go of the past.
I have two moods: sleep is for the weak and sleeping for a week.
No, Iām not funny. Iām just really mean and everyone thinks Iām joking.
If Olympic drinking was an event I would probably take gold in the floor routine.
As if " cray cray" wasn`t irritating enough, people have started shortening it to " cray"....that`s just stu stu
Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck.
Hi I was calling about the $300/hour part time job I read about in a sexy ad I saw on an illegal torrent site. Are you guys still hiring?
A movie ticket for a baby should cost at least $50.
Please be patient...I`m fcuking things up as fast as I can.