Daily Silly Status

I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.

Here is your New Years Resolution. All of that stupid sh!t you did last year? Don’t do that crap this year. Done. You’re welcome.

I just found out people are playing golf online. And I thought my life sucked!

I used to be a camera man in the porn industry but it became too hard...

i spend 800% off my life exaggerating

I just read that Lindsay Lohan is headed for rehab. It`s like 2008 all over again. Or 2009. Or 2010. Or 2011. Or 2012

When I procrastinate, current me really expects a lot out of future me.

That message felt like a great idea until I hit send.

Any time you feel lonely, remember, its your fault nobody likes you.

I dreamt that was dreaming, and then someone woke me up and told me I was dreaming but it turned out I had only dreamed that so I went back to sleep in my dream, all upset that my dream that I was dreaming was interrupted by another dream....hahahahaha.....whoa, need to lay off the Red Bull.

My parents weren`t exercising all of those nights.

if it has tits or tires sooner or later it will give you problems.

Adding "and sh!t" at the end of a sentence can make anything sound thug. Example: I was playing with my bubbles and sh!t.

If your online dating profile says "I don`t have sex on the first date" then that`s why you`re on a dating website.

Trail Mix: M&Ms with obstacles