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Bologna sandwiches are parents way of saying... it`s my legal obligation to feed you something.
Why can`t braille just be in the shape of the letters?
I only change the kitty litter like once every two weeks but in my defense I don`t have a cat
"Why haven`t you been answering my pigeons?" -- Girlfriends in the 17th century probably
Do bees even have knees?
I could kill you with kindness, but shoving you into traffic just saves so much time.
The really cool thing about being a husband is having your mistakes constantly pointed out.
Next time I get a bunch of, "likes," on a comment I post on someones status/photo etc.. Im gonna edit my comment and change the whole comment to, "like this status if you would f*ck your father." Just to make anyone else who reads it from then on think ill about the people who liked it. ā¢
In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that Iām right.
Been there, done that. Hypothetically
There`s a word for people like you and that word is "leave."
Unless you fell off the stairmaster and a barbell fell on your face... no one wants to hear about your workout.
when god was giving out brains....you must have miss heard for trains..and missed your bugger
Robots can do anything we set their mind to
I don`t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without it.