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Next time you think life`s not fair..think of this x large clothes cost $2 more than large so why doesn`t small cost $2 less ? Being fat ....now that`s unfair
I`m all over that like a fat kid on a Smarty
I love my car. Without it, I would not be where I am today.
1 in 5 bosses will let you leave work early if you claim to have `lady problems` then start crying. It works even better for guys.
My son asked me to explain women to him, so I bought him an XBOX game for his Playstation.
If alcohol kills millions of brain cells, how come it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?
The best thing about owning a Smart Car is if you get too drunk at the bar you can just carry it home.
If you come to myspace and twitter about my yahoo, can I google over your facebook?
My best childhood memory was falling asleep on the couch and waking up in bed…. I miss teleporting. It never happens to me anymore.
The buses don`t go where you live do they.
Me blacking out when I`m drunk is God`s way of telling me that what I do when I drink is none of my business.
Why do I get the feeling that a lot of adults nowadays who ask kids "What do you want to be when you grow up?" are just trying to come up with some ideas?
Smile. It makes people wonder what you´re up to.
The squirrels must be gathering nuts. Three of my neighbors have disappeared.
I`ve finally stopped drinking for good ... And I`ve started drinking for evil.