Daily Silly Status

If I could be anyone else in the whole world, I would still be me so that I wouldn`t have to buy new clothes.

Checklist: Poke People ? Delete People ? Block People ? Send Friend Requests ? Accept Friend Requests ? Ignore Chats ? Make Stupid Photoshop Pics With My Face ?....Morning chores all done.

You guys are even more beautiful now that I`m wearing my "wine glasses".

PRO TIP: You can use crunchy food to block out conversations of people you hate.

Dear axe body spray, Could you Please put a suggested spray size on your deodorant bottles. Best regards, Asphyxiated girls everywhere.

Now that the Summer is over, I can finally stop pretending to be on a diet

I’m exhausted just thinking of everything I have to do.

Don`t do it in the Garden, they say love is blind but ur neighbor ain`t.

Thanks for calling me to tell me you just sent that email

I`m at the facebook saloon, drinking all night long

Flight 370, proven harder to find then the G spot :-/

I was blown away when I realised the word " OK " is a side ways person.

I bet the guy at the urinal next to me is now rethinking his decision to wear flip flops today.

I was disappointed to learn that ‘landlady’ isn’t the opposite of a mermaid.

Remember when you were a kid and all you would use the computer for was paint and space pinball?