Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m thinking of changing my voicemail to the following: "If you have reached this recording, please hang up and text me."
Not sure if this Adderall is working but I just made a pros and cons list about pros and cons lists.
I`ve been holding my stomach in for 3 years now so don`t talk to me about dedication
At this point I`m guessing the North only won the Civil War because the South got half an inch of snow and they completely lost their minds
I used to wonder what it was like to read people’s minds. Then I got a Facebook account and I got over it.
I do marathons ... on Netflix.
Personality is 40% genetics, 40% upbringing, and 20% the last movie you watched.
You haven`t really made it until people start using your name as a verb.
On the 12th day of Christmas my FB gave to me- 12 dudes I`m blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted Barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, fiiiivvvvee drama queeeennss, 4 game requests, 3 photo tags, 2 friends a-pokin and a creep who wont stop Inboxing meee... ;)
Sunday morning = lazy lay in my bed and fart under my sheets all day :)
Smile. Your enemies hate it.
My favorite holiday spirit is poured over ice.
I say the things better left unsaid.
The ultimate home security system is just having crappy stuff.
Trying to understand some people is like trying to pick up a turd by the clean end.