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It only takes a second to show someone how you really feel about them... the cops call it indecent exposure, but whatever
If I hit snooze 3 times it should automatically send an email to my boss saying I’ll be out sick.
Whenever I`m on the phone with someone I like to scream "WAIT DON`T HANG UP" right as they`re hanging up & then not answer when they call back.
MTV canceled Teen Mom, so it`s like they had those babies for nothing.
We should have staff meetings in the garden. The plants would love the fertilizer.
Wife is out of town until tomorrow night. Anyone wanna come sit on the other end of the sofa and ignore me?
Everyday I’m shoveling. – Winter 2014
Those who stir the sh*t-pot should be made to lick the spoon!
Sö î hèãrd ÿôu lìkê gùÿš with ácçeñts?
I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness, so I don’t intimidate you..
I hope you all have a prosperous New Year ... I may have to borrow money.
If the plan is “drink beer now, figure out life later” then yes, everything is going according to plan.
I wish I could commute by roller coaster.
*sigh* the cop at the front door is never a stripper when you need it to be
Being all talk and no action sounds relaxing.