Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I don`t know how the law of averages works, but you`d think after 25yrs of marriage I`d be right at least once
Your kid is running around the store screaming at the top of his lungs annoying everyone and I`m the a$$hole for tripping him?
How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
I`m happy that my grandma thinks that a iPad is for wet and leaking eyes
No way I’m the only one who crosses their fingers, closes their eyes & holds their breath when checking their account balance.
It’s what’s on the inside that counts, unless you’re talking about one of those hollow chocolate bunnies.
When I woke up this morning everything in my house had been stolen and replaced with exact replicas... WEIRD..
Life is just like a p@nis: Simple, relaxed and hanging freely, It`s the women who make it hard.
Understanding women number 476,395: Women like to talk about their feelings.
Mondays feel like biting into a chocolate chip cookie only to find out it`s oatmeal raisin.
Life…it’s just an β€œF” in lie.
"I`ll drink to that." -me to my next drink
I think 90% of the software on my computer doesn`t do anything except send me notices that there`s a new version of it!
Coffee shops should have a separate line for people who are late for work.
If you kept one of those jars where I`d have to put in a quarter every time I swore, you would be a billionaire by the end of the week.