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ah Saturday, where it`s socially acceptable to drink in the morning. ;)
Have a day. That`s about as inspirational I get.
i am not so think, as you drunk i am
There really should be awards for getting out of bed.
I don`t see the point of sex if the neighbours don`t hear it.
Instead of calling it the John, I call my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.
If you`ve lost your appetite today, I think I have it.
You could`ve told me that wasn`t your real name before I got the tattoo.
I was way too drunk last night to drive home. So I drove to another party.
When I go to the gas station I always get two kinds of drinks so it appears I actually have a friend..I think they`re catching on though.
Today I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word "irony."
it`s a fact that flies on screens are not afraid of cursors
I wish Facebook would notify me when people deleted me, that way I could like it
I`m opening a bar called The Office. You`re welcome guys. "Be home soon sweetie, I`m at The Office"
Hibernation should be a human thing too.