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The human body is roughly 60% water. I`m not fat, I`m flooded.
A wise man, will often say nothing
If Monday had a face... I`d punch it.
Whoever is controlling me sucks at this game.
I`d offer moral support, but I have questionable morals.
You are here: X
You know that you have eaten way too much junk food when you start actually craving something healthy.
My kids are giving all the people on this airplane a hard lesson in birth control right now.
I react to "Someone has tagged a photo of you..." in the same way I react to a doctor saying, "Your test results came back..."
Clapping: Repeatedly high-fiving yourself for someone else`s accomplishments.
Some people are like Polaroids. You have to shake them violently before they make any sense.
Yesterday I fell off a 50 foot ladder. It`s probably a good thing I was on the bottom step...
It`s the weekend!!! The " Responsible Adult Button" has been switched to OFF!!
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 8 times,......Your probably a woman.
You seem awesome. I can`t wait to find out what I hate about you.