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I try to explain to my kids during the movie that in reality, even a cowardly lion would eat a girl and a little dog.
I`m glad people are exercising but I want to see cooler activities posted on FB. Like "I spent 1 hour wrestling a bear. 110 calories burned."
Avoid parking tickets by leaving your wipers on high.
I think my guardian angel drinks.
Without facebook: more sleep, less drama, and a life!
I wish I had the confidence of a male flight attendant
“FREEZE! NOBODY MOVE!” – Mother Nature
I know it`s 3 meals a day,,,,,, But how many at night?
Facebook made billions by saying “Hey, remember that kid you haven’t seen since the third grade? He’s a parent who hates Obama now.”
Everything I need to know in life I learned in kindergarten... if you poop your pants they let you go home.
You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn`t come back, what you`ve lost is a normal pigeon.
Life would be perfect if: Mondays were fun, junk food was healthy, drama didn’t exist, and goodbyes were only until tomorrow.
Please please, keep talking. I always yawn when I`m interested...
My husband`s wife is freakin` awesome!
I bet the women who only post about sex are probably some of the nicest men you’ll ever meet in person.