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Happiness comes from within. That’s why it feels good to fart.
I can think of absolutely no acceptable situation where a grown man should be taking a bathroom mirror selfie.
If you see me talking to myself don`t be alarmed. I`m getting expert advice.
Hard work never killed anyone but why risk it?
I was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently, "A way out" wasn`t the right answer.
roses are red , violets are blue , I got five fingers and the 3rd one for you ;)
I didn´t outsmart you. You just outdumbed me.
Sometimes I wonder how people who don`t have kids get their TV remotes from the other side of the room.
why does a round pizza comes in a square box?
I have a life outside of internet, it involves charging my phone.
They say that you are what we eat. This means that I am cheap, easy and ready in 2 minutes!
In life, you only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn`t move but should, use the WD-40. If it should not move and does, use the duct tape
My favorite part of seeing someone I know in public is pretending I didn’t.
People like you are the reason people like me take pills.
I got so much Crazy going on that the term "Bi-Polar" would be excessively underestimating my condition, let`s go with "Multi-Polar" from now on.........