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I thought Match .com was a place to arrange fights to the death, but turns out it`s a website to find love. So I was close.
So, when is this Old Enough To Know Better thing supposed to kick in?
If I cover my phone at work with Preparation H, would it filter out the `pains in the butts` from calling?
If you don’t feel just a little bit of shame after the weekend… you’re not doing it right.
I know you`re supposed to have 3 balanced meals a day, but how many can I have at night?
I was enjoying our conversation, but then I stopped talking and the whole thing got really boring.
If I pat you on the back, there`s a 99% chance that I`m only using you as a napkin
I would eat a lot more salads if they were made out of pizza.
Nothing says you are ugly like Facebook asking ``Are you sure you want to make this your profile picture?``
I`m having a problem in Call Of Duty, I go to the menu and... ok by now the girls have stopped reading this, anyone know any good porn sites?
People who get out of the car and actually have a sit down meal inside McDonald`s scare me.
A girl updated her facebook status saying: All men are dogs and I commented • Which breed is your dad?
You bring the friendship, I`ll bring the benefits.
Avoid hangovers: stay drunk ;)
Mosquito`s and parking inspectors must be from the same family...