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I make one mistake and my pharmacist now adds "by mouth" on the prescription label.
A human fart can be louder than a trombone. I discovered that at my daughter`s school concert.
Some relationships are like fat people, they don`t Workout!!
Just saw a cop pull over a U-Haul truck. I think he is trying to bust a move.
This day needs more tomfoolery!
I dont know about you guys, but I am amazed Pringles is able to constantly grow the same shaped potato. Science.
If you love someone , let them go. If they dont come back, call them up later when your drunk and see wtf is going on.
I was called a village idiot today which really upset me ... I live in a city.
Know why girls cross their arms when they`re angry? Boobs. Just a little reminder of who`s in charge around here.
I hope manners is the next cool trend.
bitches want what they cant have..or thats what I keep telling myself
People really need to get with the times. Smartphones are not for talking anymore.
Time to walk the cow and milk the dog, Happy Hump Day!
Just ran across a great dessert recipe...Cut up some bananas, apples & oranges in a bowl. Add fresh squeezed lime juice. Then toss it in the trash and eat a cheesecake.
A fun way to "Break up" is to tell them to "Go long" and then never throw them the football.