Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Does ke$ha go by k€sha in Europe?
Wife is painting the upstairs bedrooms. It`s not in my nature to sit still while she slaves away so I went up and complained about the color
I never got the expression "complete idiot". Is there an Incomplete version?
An apple a day is bullsh!t. Apples are dangerous. Just look at Eve, Snow White, Blackberry or any pig at a luau.
Lazy Fact #69302246777573 - You were too lazy to read that number.
It doesn`t matter if the shoe fits or not, I`m still shoving it up your a$$.
The smaller the town, the bigger the sex cult.
So many Jehovah`s Witnesses and yet still not a shred of Jehovah`s Evidence.
There’s a police helicopter above my house right now, so I’m cashing in and calling everyone who has ever said “when pigs fly.”
I don`t know why you are complaining about your appearance, your personality is even worse.
I can`t unfriend you because I really enjoy watching the disaster that is your life.
A shake for breakfast. A shake for lunch. A sensible dinner. SEVENTY FIVE COOKIES AT 12:34AM
The majority of life`s greatest lessons are learned while observing your drunk friends.
I just bought some new deodorant yesterday. The instructions said to remove the top and push up bottom. My butt hurts now but every time I fart the room smells awesome.
If something`s worth doing, it`s worth doing rihgt.