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Most advanced telescopes use mirrors so we really have no way to know how many vampires are in space
It`s hard to compliment a fake person without lying.
Doing absolutely nothing on the weekends has started to feel more fun than actually going out.
Babysitting is a way for teenagers to feel like adults while adults go out to feel like teenagers.
I don’t write children’s books because the last page would always say: "Now shut up and go to sleep."
If "The Breakfast Club" was made today, it would be a silent film about five kids staring at their phone
I’m tired of chasing my dreams, I`m just going to ask them where their going and meet them there later.
I`ve been hiding from exercise ... I`m in the fitness protection program.
Dear ladies, Not trying to impress you or anything, but I make my own sandwiches.
So people buy cookie dough and bake it?.... What the hell?
I’m pretty sure the whole “ladies first” thing was created by a guy that just wanted to check out a girl’s butt.
I`m "BE KIND & REWIND" years old.
My biggest fear is that there is no PMS and this is my personality.
I`d like to help you out ... Which way did you come in?
Our kids biggest challenge will be to find a username that`s not already taken.