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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Most advanced telescopes use mirrors so we really have no way to know how many vampires are in space
It`s hard to compliment a fake person without lying.
Doing absolutely nothing on the weekends has started to feel more fun than actually going out.
Babysitting is a way for teenagers to feel like adults while adults go out to feel like teenagers.
I don’t write children’s books because the last page would always say: "Now shut up and go to sleep."
If "The Breakfast Club" was made today, it would be a silent film about five kids staring at their phone
I’m tired of chasing my dreams, I`m just going to ask them where their going and meet them there later.
I`ve been hiding from exercise ... I`m in the fitness protection program.
Dear ladies, Not trying to impress you or anything, but I make my own sandwiches.
So people buy cookie dough and bake it?.... What the hell?
I’m pretty sure the whole β€œladies first” thing was created by a guy that just wanted to check out a girl’s butt.
I`m "BE KIND & REWIND" years old.
My biggest fear is that there is no PMS and this is my personality.
I`d like to help you out ... Which way did you come in?
Our kids biggest challenge will be to find a username that`s not already taken.