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Say what you want about Kim and Kanye naming their daughter North West. That kid is headed straight to the top. And slightly to the left.
Consumer confidence is at an all time high, and so am I.
Men hang out in bars for one of two reasons: Either they have no wife to go home to, or they do
OK. If you`re so smart, what`s the answer to this question?
If I wasn`t supposed to have vodka for breakfast they shouldn`t have made it taste so good with orange juice.
I just found if you tuck one part of a pants leg into your sock,,,, people expect less of you.
The hardest part about being humble is not telling people how much better I am than they are.
Not every flower can say love...but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst...but a cactus did. Not every idiot can read, but look at you go!!!! lol
How dare you incinerate that I don`t know big words.
I`m not afraid of identity theft. Go ahead and enjoy being broke and having my dad call you a failure.
If you`re going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty
I have a dream that one day I won`t have to work on MLK Day.
All single ladies, stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don’t force an innocent cat to live with you.
Fun Prank: Put $1000 in an envelope and mail it to me.
Skinny people are bitches. Probably because they`re hungry.