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If you say married people aren’t having sex, you have obviously never sat in a hotel bar & watched them pick up strangers.
When my boss says, "women of a certain age" then looks at me, it`s ok to stab her with a letter opener, right?
2017 didn`t need that extra hour back.
"But why?" - Me at weddings
If I had to describe myself in one word it would be "doesn`t know how to follow directions."
If you see a road sign that says "Survey Crew Ahead" they actually are not looking for your opinions ... I know that now.
Stalin should have known communism doesn`t work. There were red flags everywhere.
As a matter of fact, the whole world does revolve around me.
Ya .... That Supermoon was OK ..... But I was quite disappointed when I realized it didn`t even have a cape.
I want to follow my dream, but i dont want to look like a stalker
The guy who named the umbrella meant to call it a brella but he hesitated.
What makes fancy green beans fancy?
Seriousley.. The cuntestents in the 2013 speling beee contast hafe too now no the meening of the werd thay hafe been axed too spell. I coud rock that contast so eesy :))))) eg. The meening of "Easy". Anser: a kids oven
I hate when people passive-aggressively post vague, indirect statuses. You know who you are...
Guns don`t kill people. Fathers with beautiful daughters do. Happy Fathers Day!