Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Question : if you fart at the gym can people wearing headphones still smell it? Asking for a friend
I do all of my ironing in the dryer.
You don`t have to like me, I`m not a Facebook status.
Every year new words are added onto the dictionary, yet no new positions are added to the karma sutra.
Iām offering a $1000 reward to anyone who brings me $1000 and a taco.
I go both ways. I like hard AND soft tacos.
I should eat more healthy, but we all saw how that whole apple thing went for Adam & Eve.
Guys...dont mess up and buy her the wrong brand of vacuum cleaner for Valentines Day this year. Spend a little extra for a really good one ... Just tring to help.
I`m sorry baby, but me & you are not going to work out. We are going to watch tv.
Is snaxting a thing? Texting each other pics of your snacks? Cause I feel like Iād be pretty good at that.
If Violets were Orange, poetry would be a lot more challenging.
The longer I stay at home. The more homeless looking I look.
If you had to choose between your significant other and a million dollars, what`s the first thing you`d buy?
I hate when Iām walking into the gym and the wind blows me into the liquor store.
If it wasn`t for claustrophobia, lack of intelligence, and my intense fear of floating poop, I would`ve made a great astronaut.