Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My horoscope started with `are you sitting down?`
That urge you get to write “No one gives a crap” on someone’s status.
I hate buying feminine products! How am I supposed to know if this is the right kind of broom or not?
Not to brag or anything, but I got the high score on my scale today.
You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn`t come back, what you`ve lost is a regular pigeon.
I am going to write a book about A.D.D., because .. I love fishing. -LOL
You`re about 8 beers away from being my type.
Weird how “news” and “fact checking” are treated like two separate concepts these days.
I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible…but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell!
Ladies, if he calls you crazy, don`t get upset. Crazy girls are better in bed so take it as a compliment. But stab him, just in case...
What do they give the person that has everything? antibiotics
I believe in helping the homeless. That`s why every year I buy a new refrigerator and throw away the box.
Jellyfish have survived here on Earth for 650 million years without brains. Great news for stupid people.
Some people want a perfect relationship. I just want a cheeseburger that looks like the ones in commercials.
Trail Mix: M&Ms with obstacles