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If you think this status is funny someone you hate will step on a lego.
The Wizard of Oz is really just a cautionary tale about the lengths a woman will go to for the right shoes.
Missed Connection: You were standing at the RedBox. I was in my car self pleasuring. I accidentally honked like 8 times.
Swag is for boys. Class is for men.
*accidentally answers phone call* ... *pretends to be answering machine*
I`m a beer enthusiast. The more beer I drink, the more enthusiastic I become.
Alcohol is like laxatives for constipated thoughts. The more you drink, the more sh!t that comes out your mouth.
If ignorance is bliss then there`s a crap load of people in paradise
Chicken pot pie sounds like a great idea if you add commas.
Meanwhile one million men got to enjoy a quiet afternoon at home without anyone nagging them.
I don`t care how old I am, if I go out to eat and there are crayons and paper placemats with puzzles... game on!
If a cop pulls over a U-Haul, he`s trying to bust a move.
I`d engage you in a battle of wits, but I`m afraid you`re unarmed.
believes saying "hi" with a big smile can brighten anyone´s day ... even those who give you the middle finger for cutting them off in traffic.
We got an extra day this year. Why did it have to be a Monday?