Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Things are finally looking up for me. This Victoria`s Secret catalog just told me this is going to be "your sexiest year ever."
Do I have to wake up? I just woke up yesterday.
Friends are like boobs... Some are real some are fake.
Look at the keyboard. It has `U` and `I` together. Look underneath that. It says `JK`.
I wonder if any Disney managers ever start a meeting off with "What kind of Mickey Mouse operation are we running around here?"
Dear New Years Resolutions People; You don`t have to wait for the New Year to get your sh*t together and become a better person.
Sitting in the cinema, ready to watch the movie, then BOOM! The human giraffe sits in front of you
You might be a REDNECK if you think S.T.O.P. means spin tires on pavement!! :)) lol
I would’ve slept my way to the top years ago if it actually involved sleeping.
Thinking about waking up early for a run. Mostly thinking about how I will not be doing that.
Tried to text "playa" but it changed it to "player" I must have the white iPhone.
Be thankful for Facebook, the way gas prices are headed we may never actually see each other again.
Today I am thankful for my family....and this 5th of vodka that helps me deal with them.
I`m not the kind of guy to distance himself from anything... Far from it.
Some people come into your life as blessings, others come into your life as lessons.