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"I`m on my way." -People who haven`t even left the house yet.
3 bottles of bleach: $15.00. One rope, 3 rolls of duct tape, and a shovel: $35.00. 3 boxes of trash bags: $10.00. The look on the cashier`s face: Priceless!
If you have attention deficit disorder, throwing boomerangs isn`t for you.
Highschool Reunion? What for ? I`m on Facebook. I already know who got fat.
I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness, so I don’t intimidate you..
There are no limits to what you can accomplish when you’re supposed to be doing something else.
I had to go on two diets because one wasn`t giving me enough food.
Always forgive your enemies. Nothing aggravates them so much. But if you really want to piss them off tell them you will pray for their souls.
Why is it always "I see you drank all the beer today!" instead of, "Oh, honey, that was so sweet of you to help clean out the refrigerator."
I`m great in bed" ~ breakfast
If you see a porcupine in your yard, that`s my cat and we`re not done with our accupuncture session.
Frozen water balloon fights... not a good idea.
My husband`s wife is freakin` awesome!
Pizza doesn’t ask questions. Pizza understands.
Sometimes I think hip hop music gets a bad rap.