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One thing`s for sure when I shower with my boyfriend. My titties are spotless!!
I have found that the best work from home occupation is a bartender
Thank you, True Crime, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn`t stop that murder.
I love long walks on the beach under the moonlight, poetry, candlelight dinners, and having my a$$ spanked with a fuzzy slipper.
Sometimes, in life, all you really need is a lot of money.
Ever met a boring and stable girl who was good in bed? Exactly.
Imagine how much faster Olympic sprinters could run if they saw their wives going through their phones at the finish line
Hey I just met you, and this is crazy. But add me on Facebook and I`ll stalk you (maybe)
I`m the kind of friend who will help you hide a dead body, but if you betray me, just remember: I know how to hide a dead body.
I watched my first porn movie today. I looked so much younger back then.
Friends are like condoms… they protect you when things get hard.
Dear autocorrect: at no point have I ever meant “ducking.”
It’s so nice outside I should probably close the blinds so there isn’t a glare on my screen.
I`m old enough to remember when having a long cord on the home phone was privacy.
Social Media: Because I like to socialize with cool people without having to speak, wear pants or get off the couch.