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A zip line but from the sofa to the fridge
It is days like today that I am glad that we all don`t live in a Yellow Submarine. Well at least not in the same one.
Studies show that 5 out of 6 people enjoy Russian roulette.
I handle stress the way cats bathe in water.
If you really want to get under someone`s skin these days, just leave them a voicemail.
Happy Wednesday 2014 Everyone!
Bring me the heads of my enemies!! or some cupcakes ... whichever.
I like to walk around the house naked. Until the cops chase me back inside.
My favorite drinking game is drinking.
My son asked what he should say if a bully said to give him his lunch money. I said tell him you left it on his moms nightstand.
People born in 1994-1999 have lived in three decades, two centuries, and two millenniums. & they are not even 18 yet.
If we’re not supposed to eat late, then why is there a light in the fridge?
If offering people gum is cooking, then yes, I cook.
I had a very confident breakdown today. ...Wasn`t nervous at all. ;)
Common sense has become so rare it should be classified as a superpower.