Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why do men fart more than women? Because women can`t shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
My friends most commonly describe me as "who?"
My worst fear is seeing one of my statuses marked as "exhibit A"
This girl says she wants me to butter her muffin.. I don’t even know what that means but now I’m hungry.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau: 190,374 people are having sex right now, 212,130 are kissing, and 1 poor person is reading this post. You hang in there!
I told everyone at work that I have a twin so that when I see them in public I won`t have to talk to them.
Sometimes you`ve got to ask yourself: `Why am I talking to myself?`
I`m going to go take a hot shower, it`s like a normal shower but with me in it
I fake my LOLs
That awkward moment when you open a fortune cookie and all you get is some vague, cryptic statement that`s not even a fortune.
( )( ) =( `-` )= <( . )> ("`)("`) bunny!!
Just convinced my Mom she won`t get Wolf of Wall Street if she doesn`t see Teen Wolf first.
If you added up all the time you waste on Facebook, think how much TV you could watch.
Studies show that men who have sex more often tend to have a longer life expectancy. Unless your wife finds out.
Me, a morning person? Pfft. Most days I`m not even an afternoon person.